Lemony Snicket Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old lemony snicket quotes, lemony snicket sayings, and lemony snicket proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.     

Lemony Snicket

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.      

Lemony Snicket

You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.     

Lemony Snicket

It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.     

Lemony Snicket

You know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.     

Lemony Snicket

If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives.     

Lemony Snicket

To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn't work, there is nothing left.     

Lemony Snicket

Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something     

Lemony Snicket

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.     

Lemony Snicket

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.     

Lemony Snicket

It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.     

Lemony Snicket

After you leave home, you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a new home that has nicer wallpaper and a more efficient dishwasher than the home in which you grew up.     

Lemony Snicket

But I must admit I miss you quite terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.     

Lemony Snicket

After you leave home, you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a new home that has nicer wallpaper and a more efficient dishwasher than the home in which you grew up.     

Lemony Snicket

Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.     

Lemony Snicket

People don't always get what they deserve in this world.     

Lemony Snicket

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.     

Lemony Snicket

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.     

Lemony Snicket

The world is very quiet without you around.     

Lemony Snicket

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.     

Lemony Snicket

Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.     

Lemony Snicket

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.     

Lemony Snicket

It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.     

Lemony Snicket

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.     

Lemony Snicket

Grammar is the greatest joy in life, don't you find?     

Lemony Snicket

The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen.     

Lemony Snicket

Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.     

Lemony Snicket

Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get you anything you want.     

Lemony Snicket

But like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.     

Lemony Snicket

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.     

Lemony Snicket