Mark Twain Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Mark Twain quotes, Mark Twain sayings, and Mark Twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February. Mark Twain
A proof once established is better left so. Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
Part of the secret to success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. Mark Twain
Public servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft. Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. Mark Twain
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute Mark Twain
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. Mark Twain
A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it. Mark Twain
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain
A street in Constantinople is a picture which one ought to see once-not oftener. Mark Twain
To do good is noble. To tell others to do good is even nobler and much less trouble. Mark Twain
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric. Mark Twain
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. Mark Twain
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment. Mark Twain
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. Mark Twain
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. Mark Twain
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. Mark Twain
He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too. Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. Mark Twain
It is no use to keep private information which you can't show off. Mark Twain
How empty is theory in the presence of fact! Mark Twain
To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology. Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. Mark Twain