Ogden Nash Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old ogden nash quotes, ogden nash sayings, and ogden nash proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.     

Ogden Nash

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.     

Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.     

Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong admit it; Whenever you're right shut up.     

Ogden Nash

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.     

Ogden Nash

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.     

Ogden Nash

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.     

Ogden Nash

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely     

Ogden Nash

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.     

Ogden Nash

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.     

Ogden Nash

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.     

Ogden Nash

People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.     

Ogden Nash

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.     

Ogden Nash

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.     

Ogden Nash

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.     

Ogden Nash

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny –  Did you ever try buying them without money?      

Ogden Nash

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.     

Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.     

Ogden Nash

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.     

Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.     

Ogden Nash

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.     

Ogden Nash

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.     

Ogden Nash

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.     

Ogden Nash

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.     

Ogden Nash

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.     

Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.     

Ogden Nash

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.     

Ogden Nash

The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.     

Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup. Whenever you're wrong, admit it. Whenever you're right, shut up.     

Ogden Nash

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.     

Ogden Nash