Quentin Crisp Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Quentin Crisp quotes, Quentin Crisp sayings, and Quentin Crisp proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.     

Quentin Crisp

The young always have the same problem how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.     

Quentin Crisp

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.     

Quentin Crisp

Men get laid, but women get screwed.     

Quentin Crisp

You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.     

Quentin Crisp

For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change.     

Quentin Crisp

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.     

Quentin Crisp

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.     

Quentin Crisp

Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.     

Quentin Crisp

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.     

Quentin Crisp

Nearly always when actors are approached by the beauticians, they try to avoid the dabs that the beauticians put on their faces. They dodge them.     

Quentin Crisp

Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.     

Quentin Crisp

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.     

Quentin Crisp

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.     

Quentin Crisp

Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.     

Quentin Crisp

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.     

Quentin Crisp