Funny Coffee Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny coffee quotes, funny coffee sayings, and funny coffee proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?     

Cassandra Clare

Some of the world's most effective thoughts happen over a brew of morning's coffee

Prabhukrishna M

Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.     

David Letterman

I would rather suffer from coffee than be senseless.     

Napoleon Bonaparte

Coffee is a language in itself

Jackie Chan

I was taken by the power that savoring a simple cup of coffee can have to connect people and create community.     

Howard Schultz

People don't stop eating, and they don't stop drinking coffee.

Magic Johnson

When traveling with someone, take large dose of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.

Helen Hayes

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.

Stephanie Piro

He was my cream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something.     

Josephine Baker

Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.

Justina Chen

It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.

Donna A. Favors

The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.     

James Mackintosh

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Abraham Lincoln

I could smell myself awake with that coffee.

Jaesse Tyler

Coffee first. Schemes later.

Leanna Renee Hieber

The second cup of coffee is never as good as the first.     

Theodore Roosevelt

Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.

Fran Drescher

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.

Carly Simon

I can't imagine a day without coffee. I can't imagine!

Howard Schultz

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.     

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Coffee is a language in itself.     

Jackie Chan

Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.

Thomas Jefferson

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

Mae West

Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

Edward Abbey

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

Terry Pratchett

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.     

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Coffee is the common man’s gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility.

Sheik-Abd-al-Kadir

Black coffee must be strong and very hot; if strong coffee does not agree with you, do not drink black coffee. And if you do not drink black coffee, do not drink any coffee at all.

Andre Simon

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