Funny Driving Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny driving quotes, funny driving sayings, and funny driving proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.     

Erma Bombeck

A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.

Woody Allen

Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated.     

Jean Baudrillard

Until you've learned to drive, you've never really learned how to swear.

Robert Paul

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Anonymous