Funny Driving Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny driving quotes, funny driving sayings, and funny driving proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey. Babs Hoffman
Always focus on the front windshield and not the rear view mirror. Colin Powell
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic. Dan Rather
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it. Ellen Goodman
Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio. Juan Manuel Fangio
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? Robin Williams
Men can read maps better than women cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. Roseanne Barr
Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second. Steven Tyler
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Steven Wright
There are two things no man will admit he cannot do well, drive and make love. Stirling Moss
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. unknown
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. Woody Allen
Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated. Jean Baudrillard
Until you've learned to drive, you've never really learned how to swear. Robert Paul
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin
People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse. Gilbert K. Chesterton
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Anonymous