Funny Easter Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny easter quotes, funny easter sayings, and funny easter proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


The Easter Bunny ate all of the carrots we left for him. What a pig.

Steve Carell

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

Amy Sedaris

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

Adam Ferrara

Easter is not a passport to another world; it is a quality of perception for this one.     

W.P. Lemon

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics.

Marvin Olasky

That first Easter must have been awkward, because you know the apostles had already divided up Jesus' stuff.

William Ader

Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead — and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God.     

Dennis Leary

Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.     

Garrison Keillor

I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.

Caroline Rhea

Most people outside of America won't get it. It's the Easter bunny. It's another lie and I don't understand why we had to invent this character.     

Todd Rundgren

Easter has been cancelled - they found the body.

Jim Butcher

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.     

Linda Grayson

If you believe in the Easter Bunny, it means you believe in a fat, purple bunny, which is pooping multi-color eggs in your garden.

Alex Antunes

In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it, you'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade.

Irving Berlin

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!

Lucy Van Pelt

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas.     

Jack Handy

Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of Spring in our blood.     

Wallace Stevens

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there.

Clarence W. Hall