Funny Food Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny food quotes, funny food sayings, and funny food proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the "Titanic" who waved off the dessert cart.

Erma Bombeck

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Calvin Trillin

Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry.

Mike Kalin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.     

Mark Twain

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

W.C. Fields

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.     

Jim Davis

The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!     

Terry Moore

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.


Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.

Jonathan Swift

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.     

Oscar Wilde

A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze.

Stephen King

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

George Carlin

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.     

Buddy Hackett

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

Orson Welles

Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche.

Lewis Grizzard

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.

Totie Fields

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Doug Larson

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.     

Jo Brand

Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup.

Henry James

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.     

Enrico Caruso

Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising.     

Meg Cabot

Snack time heals all wounds.

Bridger Winegar

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Fran Lebowitz

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Will Rogers

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.

Judith Viorst

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

Michael Pollan

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments.     

Bethenny Frankel

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!     

Roald Dahl

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

Alfred E. Newman

When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight.

Yogi Berra

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