Funny Football Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny football quotes, funny football sayings, and funny football proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

Sue Lawley

We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.

Bruce Coslet

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.     

Heywood Hale Braun

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Erma Bombeck

I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important -like a league game or something.     

Dick Butkus

It was really difficult for us, playing in the midday sun with that three o'clock kick-off.

David Beckham

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Phyllis Diller

Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90% temper and 10% mental.     

Doug Plank