Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old funny friend quotes, funny friend sayings, and funny friend proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.
The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.Randy K. Milholland
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Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.Samuel Butler
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Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.Anne Morrow Lindbergh
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I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.Sébastien-Roch Nicolas
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If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking, they can make you laugh.P.C. Cast
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A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.Doug Larson
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Friendship is being there when someone's feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.Randy K. Milholland
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It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The best time to make friends is before you need them.Ethel Barrymore
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In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.John Churton Collins
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Nothing makes you happier than your friend's failure.unknown
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Real friends don't get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.unknown
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We are best friends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up, after I finish laughing.unknown
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Being friendless taught me how to be a friend. Funny how that works.Colleen Wainwright
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Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.unknown
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Friends buy you a lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.unknown
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Friends were like clothes: fine while they lasted but eventually they wore thin or you grew out of them.David Nicholls
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Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friend's shortcomings.Mason Cooley
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Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.unknown
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.Mark Twain
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.Erma Bombeck
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True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. David Tyson
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If your friends don't make fun of you, they're not really your friends.Anonymous
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A true friend stabs you in the front.Oscar Wilde
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Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.unknown
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Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.Publilius Syrus
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A friend is like a good bra: hard to find, comfortable, supportive, always lifts you up, makes you look better, never lets you down or leaves you hanging, and always close to your heart.unknown
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.Groucho Marx
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A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.Abraham Lincoln
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Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.Lord Chesterfield
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I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.Oscar Wilde
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There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.Linda Grayson
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.George Carlin
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A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.Bernard Meltzer
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God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.Ethel Mumford
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Good friends don't let you do stupid things…alone.unknown
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An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.Jim Hayes
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He's the kind of friend who will always be there when he needs you.Adam Christing
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Having friends you like who are like you is a form of narcissism.Laurence J. Peters
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I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better. Plutarch
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When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'Groucho Marx
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Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.Jane Austen
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Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.Joe Lewis
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Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.Silican proverb
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A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.George Ade
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Between friends, differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.W.H. Auden
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Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused.Mason Cooley
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It is the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.Charles Lamb
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It is not enough to succeed, a friend must fail.La Rochefoucauld
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A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.Samuel Hall Lord