Funny Inspirational Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny inspirational quotes, funny inspirational sayings, and funny inspirational proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you’re alive it isn’t.     

Richard Bach

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.     

A.A. Milne

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.     

Betty Reese

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.     

Reba McEntire

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.     

Gladys Berthe Stern

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.     

Ethel Barrymore

My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything – even if you have no clue what you’re doing.     

Jessica Alba

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.     

Charles Gordy

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.     

Charles Schulz

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.      

Anthony Burgess

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.     

Ron White

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.     

Albert Einstein

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.      

Benjamin Franklin

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.     

Thomas Eddison

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?     

Steven Wright 

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.     

Dalai Lama

If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.     

Elvis Presley

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.     

Mark Twain

When I hear someone sigh that life is hard, I am tempted to ask, ‘compared to what?'     

Sydney Harris

Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.     

Kyle Chandler

Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.     

Tom Lehrer

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.      

Elbert Hubbard

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.     

Mark Twain

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.      

W. H. Auden

Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address.     

Thomas Abreu

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.     

Will Rogers

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.     

Robert Frost

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.     

Dwight Eisenhower

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.     

Alexander Woollcott

The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill.     

W. Clement Stone