Funny Love Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny love quotes, funny love sayings, and funny love proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.     

Carroll Bryant

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Love thy neighbor, just watch out for the husband


Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.     


I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?     

Jean Illsley Clarke

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.     

Agatha Christie

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener     

Pauline Thomason

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.

Helen Gurley Brown

I had a dream that i still loved you...I think I woke up screaming.     


Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills.     

Jessica Martin

It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.

Lucille Ball

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.     


A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears

Les Dawson

People should fall in love with their eyes closed.

Andy Warhol

If you text 'I love you' to a person and the person writes back an emoji â€" no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.

Chelsea Peretti

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.     

Steven Wright

My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships nowadays.


If she happens to fall, I'll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.     

J.A. Redmerski

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

Joan Crawford

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.     

Albert Einstein

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.

Thomas Dewar

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there.

George Burns

I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it.     

Elizabeth Evans

The four most important words in any marriage...I'll do the dishes.     


All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

Charles M. Schulz

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.     

Fulton J. Sheen

If you love 'em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love 'em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you're in love.

Miles Davis

My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me... Never getting it back.

Refinnej Sin

You can't put a price tag on love. But if you could, I'd wait for it to go on sale.

Hussein Nishah

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