Funny School Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny school quotes, funny school sayings, and funny school proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done: school and prison.

William Glasser

It's easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school.      

Laurie Halse Anderson

I said school starts tomorrow. I didn't say I was going to be there.

Kim Harrison

School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working toward a future you don't know will ever come.     

Dave Kellett

School is one long illness with symptoms that switch every five minutes so you think it's getting better or worse. But really it's the same thing for years and years.

Helen Oyeyemi

As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.

Cokie Roberts

You send your child to the schoolmaster, but 'tis the schoolboys who educate him.     

Ralph Waldo Emerson

School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence.     

H. L. Mencken

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

Edgar W. Howe

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

Bill Watterson

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school.

Haruki Murakami

When I say I miss school, I mean my friends and the fun. Not the school.


A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.

George Santayana

School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Billie Joe Armstrong

In school they told me Practice makes perfect. And then they told me Nobody's perfect, so then I stopped practicing.     

Steven Wright

You can't learn in school what the world is going to do next year.

Henry Ford

In school one learns to ask stupid questions of life.

Marty Rubin

School means work and work means death. Let's all go take a nap.

Emma Shannon

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

Peter De Vries

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

Bill Watterson

As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools.


Show me the man who enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.     

Robert Morley

School is the advertising agency which makes you believe that you need the society as it is.     

Ivan Illich

The trouble with school is they give you the answer, then they give you the exam. That's not life....

Ziad K. Abdelnour

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

Bill Watterson

Schools kill time and creativity. Find ways to workaround these limitations.     

Gossy Ukanwoke

In recalling their school years, students mostly remember their teachers, and not the courses they took.


A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

Theodore Roosevelt

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.

Mark Twain

There is nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school.

George Bernard Shaw