Sports are all about grit, adrenaline, and competition. But just because you work hard and sweat hard, doesn’t mean you can’t find humor in sports. Who doesn’t enjoy a funny sports blooper reel? Below you’ll find a collection of humorous and funny sports quotes.
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. Gerald R. Ford
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The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.Phyllis Diller
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All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.Gordie Howe
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The first half was even, the second half was even worse.Pat Spillane
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Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV. Thomas Sowell
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Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very un-orderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.Bill Veeck
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Wrestling is ballet with violence.Jesse Ventura
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Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake. Sylvester Stallone
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If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.George Brett
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Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentleman's game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts.Henry Blaha
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I've never lost a game I just ran out of time.Michael Jordan
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If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you're going to have problems. You'll be dead a lot. Dean Smith
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Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.Leo Durocher
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I don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players.Abe Lemons
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You win some, lose some, and wreck some.Dale Earnhardt
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I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back.Eric Morecambe
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The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does.Phil Woosnam
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Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.Frank Gifford
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Serious sport is war minus the shooting.George Orwell
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.Erma Bombeck
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The breakfast of champions is not cereal, it's the opposition.Nick Seitz
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One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.Abe Lemmons
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If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice?Derek P.
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If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.Jack Lemmon
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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.Jack Handey
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The only way to prove that you're a good sport is to lose.Ernie Banks
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I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles.Sam Snead
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It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.Pete Rose
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The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game.Bill Shankly
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The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.Randy Cross
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That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and you can't do it.unknown
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The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.John Madden
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Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.Roger Kahn
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Losing is the great American sin.Jerome Holtzman
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If you can beat a team 6-5, you're better off than losing 5-4. Casey Stengel
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The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball.Michael Holding
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Football games turn on things that are done by players.Willie Miller
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I knew I had to win today, otherwise she would have beaten me.Heather Watson
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It's bad to get hit on your chin. Because it's attached to your head.Rex Hudler
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Solo homers usually come with no one on base.Ralph Kinner
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As the ball gets softer, it loses its hardness.Geoff Boycott
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In order to start winning, we have to stop losing.Emmanuel Arceneaux
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It's hard to get a hit if you strike out.Larry Dieker
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We need the players, because without the players we wouldn't have a team.Howard Wilkinson
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Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.Tom Watt
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Tis not that rural sports alone invite, but all the grateful country breathes delight.John Gay
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Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.Ted Williams
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Baseball is like church. Many attend; few understand.Leo Durocher
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Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.Yogi Berra
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Just sports. Playing games versus playing - sports?Filmtwob