Funny Tennis Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny tennis quotes, funny tennis sayings, and funny tennis proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


What a polite game tennis is. The chief word in it seems to be "sorry" and admiration of each other's play crosses the net as frequently as the ball.     

James Matthew Barrie

Good shot, bad luck, and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified.     

Virginia Graham

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.     

Mitch Hedberg

An otherwise happily married couple may turn a mixed doubles game into a scene from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

Rod Laver

Why has slamming a ball with a racquet become so obsessive a pleasure for so many of us? It seems clear to me that a primary attraction of the sport is the opportunity it gives to release aggression physically without being arrested for felonious assault.

Nat Hentoff

Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts," probably lost.

Martina Navratilova

Tennis is not a gentle game. Psychologically, it is vicious. That people are only just beginning to come to terms with this fact illustrates just how big a con trick has been perpetrated on the non-playing tennis public - and even a few players, usually losing players - for decades.     

Richard Evans

Tennis is a psychological sport, you have to keep a clear head. That is why I stopped playing.     

Boris Becker

Though your game is hardly the best, you can fray your opponent's nerves by methodically bouncing the ball at least ten times before your serves.     

Arnold J. Zarett

The serve was invented so the net could play.

Bill Cosby

'Oh and Oh' is a tennis term . . . . It's a nice way of saying you took your opponent to pieces.

Venus Williams

The fifth set is not about tennis, it's about nerves.

Boris Becker

If you can keep playing tennis when somebody is shooting a gun down the street, that's concentration.     

Serena Williams

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Anonymous

In tennis, the addict moves about a hard rectangle and seeks to ambush a fuzzy ball with a modified snow-shoe.     

Elliot Chaze

She comes from a tennis playing family. Her father's a dentist.

BBC 2

I have always considered tennis as a combat in an arena between two gladiators who have their racquets and their courage as their weapons.

Yannick Noah

Tennis is a perfect combination of violent action taking place in an atmosphere of total tranquillity.     

Billie Jean King

The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself.

Goran Ivanišević

Life is like a game of tennis; the player who serves well seldom loses.

unknown

The primary conception of tennis is to get the ball over the net and at the same time to keep it within the bounds of the court; failing this, within the borders of the neighborhood.     

Elliot Chaze

Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.

Roger Kahn

Tennis is an addiction that once it has truly hooked a man will not let him go.     

Russell Lynes

What is the single most important quality in a tennis champion? I would have to say desire, staying in there and winning matches when you are not playing that well.      

John McEnroe

When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40's shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait to reach 50 to start again.

Hugo Black

Tennis; a racket sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight and the slowest watch.

unknown

Tennis is mostly mental. You win or lose the match before you even go out there.

Venus Williams

You don't have to be pretty for people to come and see you play. At the same time, if you're a good athlete, it doesn't mean you're not a woman.

Martina Navratilova

Behind every tennis player there is another tennis player

John McPhee