Funny Wine Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny wine quotes, funny wine sayings, and funny wine proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Madeline Puckette
Nothing represents the idea of convivial sharing so clearly as wine. Paul Lukacks
It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine Brian O'Donnell
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved. Rose Kennedy
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. Pope John XXIII
A bottle of good wine, like a good act, shines ever in the retrospect. Robert Louis Stevenson
I like on the table, when we're speaking, the light of a bottle of intelligent wine. Pablo Neruda
Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise. Charles Kingsley
The wine in the bottle does not quench thirst. George Herbert
One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and – one talks about it. King Edward VII
Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized. Andre Simon
Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares Ralph Waldo Emerson
Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle. Paulo Coelho
Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy. Alexander Fleming
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right. Mark Twain
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. Joan Collins
Being a wine enthusiast means you care more about quality than quantity. Jean-Claude Carrière
Either give me more wine or leave me alone. Rumi
A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow. Kathy Mattea
I don't go by the ratings. I buy wine that tastes good. Statistically, anybody's ability to predict what will be a good wine a decade from now is limited. Richard Thaler
A man will be eloquent if you give him good wine. Ralph Waldo Emerson
In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it. Napoleon Bonaparte
The Americans have no liking for wine unless it is sweet. Gustave Koerner
I'll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please. April Ludgate
A meal without wine is like a day without sun Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake. Leon Adams
Wine to me is passion. It's family and friends. It's warmth of heart and generosity of spirit. Wine is art. It's culture. It's the essence of civilization and the art of living. Robert Mondavi
If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like wow look at you, you are really good at wine. Denise
I rather like bad wine; one gets so bored with good wine. Benjamin Disraeli
One of the disadvanages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. Samuel Johnson
Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age, and death. When not treated with reasonable respect it will sicken and die. Julia Child
Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried with fewer tensions and more tolerance. Benjamin Franklin
One should always be drunk. That's all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk. Charles Baudelaire
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. Benjamin Franklin
Always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions. Sometimes, the special occasion is that you've got a bottle of Champagne in the fridge. Hester Browne
Now wines are wonders; great wines are magical; and winemakers are mad. Like horse fanciers, they are always trying to improve the breed. William E. Massee
I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines. Oliver Goldsmith
The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars. Benjamin Franklin
Great wine requires a mad man to grow the vine, a wise man to watch over it, a lucid poet to make it, and a lover to drink it. Salvador Dali
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. Sir Robert Scott Caywood
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages. Louis Pasteur
Artists and poets still find life's meaning in a glass of wine. Joy Sterling
Like human beings, a wine's taste is going to depend a great deal on its origins and its upbringing. Linda Johnson-Bell
Wine cheers the sad, revives the old, inspires the young, makes weariness forget his toil. Lord Byron
Making good wine is a skill. Fine wine is an art. Robert Mondavi
The wine-cup is the little silver well, Where truth, if truth there be, doth dwell. William Shakespeare
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved. Rose Kennedy
Wine is inspiring and adds greatly to the joy of living. Napoleon Bonaparte
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle. Baudelaire
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter--sermons and soda water the day after. Lord Byron
Life is good, but wine is better. Fernando Pessoa
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra
There can't be good living where there is not good drinking. Benjamin Franklin
Life's too short to keep great wine in the cellar. Let me tell you about the great ones we saved, only to discover they're no longer so good. Cliff Hakim
Wine drinking, like many activities, can be as simple or as involved as the individual wishes to make it. It can be as uncomplicated as enjoying a glass with a meal or a friend. George Kerridge
The best way to assess wine is to look at it first, smell it and then taste it. George Kerridge
Tasting a bottle of wine was a ritual: tipping, swirling, sniffing, and tasting. Most people wait for a birthday, holiday, or graduation to decant that special bottle. Cliff Hakim
Wine is first and foremost a social game; only secondarily an interest life music or collecting. It is all about human relations, bonding, ritual... all the maneuvers of social life - and all under the influence, however mild and benign, of alcohol. Hugh Johnson
Man is the only machine that needs to be lubricated with alcohol. Evan Esar
Alcohol is a good preservative for almost everything but secrets. Evan Esar
Man has been exhorted to love his enemies, but so far alcohol is the only enemy he has learned to love. Evan Esar
Alcohol is like success; both are all right until they go to your head. Evan Esar
What every drunk needs is to get more blood into his alcohol stream. Evan Esar
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill
The wine tasted like a urine sample from someone who is gravely ill. Frank Muir
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Frank Sinatra
The English have a miraculous power to change wine into water. Oscar Wilde
Wine is at the same time simpler than people say and more complex than they think. Hugh Johnson
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. Eduardo Galeana
Quickly bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever. Aristophanes
There appears to be a learning curve for alcohol consumption. Raymond McHenry
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life. George Best
I only take a drink on two occasions. When I'm thirsty and when I'm not. Brendan Behan
I have made an important discovery that alcohol. taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. Oscar Wilde
I takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. Jerry Vale