Pie Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old pie quotes, pie sayings, and pie proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


The Moon Pie is a bedrock of the country store and rural tradition. It is more than a snack. It is a cultural artifact.     

William Ferris

Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.     

Jim Gaffigan

Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.     

Johnny Carson

Good apple pies are a considerable part of our domestic happiness.     

Jane Austen

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.     

David Mamet

Fresh peach pie can lift a bullying reprobate into apologetic courtesy; I have watched it happen.     

Leif Enger

The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will never forget.     

Mitchell Burgess

The future... seems to me no unified dream but a mince pie, long in the baking, never quite done.     

Edward Young

They don't understand that a slice of the pie isn't the whole pie - but they wonder why they are always hungry.     

Russell Means

We're focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it's not good enough to get you fat. We're trying to get fat.     

Shaquille O'Neal

Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.     

Garrison Keillor

Negotiations over a shrinking pie are especially difficult because they require an allocation of losses. People tend to be much more easygoing when they bargain over an expanding pie.     

Daniel Kahneman

Pies were invented 12,000 years ago by the Egyptians. It was an easy way to preserve food that would be carried over long distances. They were like ancient Slim Jims.     

Craig Ferguson

Pie...it fills the cracks of the heart. Go away, pain.     

Kevin James

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.     

Carl Sagan

A pie in the face is funny. Comedy gold.     

Matthew Moy

No one wants a cherry pie that bites back.     

RuPaul

A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze.     

Stephen King

If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough.     

Jay Leno

There is nothing better on a cold wintry day than a properly made pot pie.     

Craig Claiborne

Give everyone a chance to have a piece of the pie. If the pie's not big enough, make a bigger pie.     

Dave Thomas

Kitchens were different then, too - not only what came out of them, but their smells and sounds. A hot pie cooling smells different from a frozen pie thawing.     

Peg Bracken

I don't think a really good pie can be made without a dozen or so children peeking over your shoulder as you stoop to look in at it every little while.     

John Gould

God always has another custard pie up his sleeve.     

Lynn Redgrave

I want our pie to grow all the people, but if some other guy's pie is growing a little faster, that's terrific.     

Howard Warren Buffett