Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Ambrose Bierce quotes, Ambrose Bierce sayings, and Ambrose Bierce proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.Ambrose Bierce
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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.Ambrose Bierce
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DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.Ambrose Bierce
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Longevity uncommon extension of the fear of death.Ambrose Bierce
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Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are not as they ought to be.Ambrose Bierce
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When you doubt, abstain.Ambrose Bierce
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Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.Ambrose Bierce
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Meekness: uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.Ambrose Bierce
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Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.Ambrose Bierce
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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure.Ambrose Bierce
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.Ambrose Bierce
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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.Ambrose Bierce
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A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.Ambrose Bierce
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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.Ambrose Bierce
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BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.Ambrose Bierce
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CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.Ambrose Bierce
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility. Ambrose Bierce
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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.Ambrose Bierce
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GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.Ambrose Bierce
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Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. Ambrose Bierce
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PROPHECY – The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. Ambrose Bierce
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Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.Ambrose Bierce
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Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!Ambrose Bierce
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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.Ambrose Bierce
An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.Ambrose Bierce
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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.Ambrose Bierce
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RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.Ambrose Bierce
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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.Ambrose Bierce
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Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.Ambrose Bierce