Andy Rooney Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old andy rooney quotes, andy rooney sayings, and andy rooney proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.     

Andy Rooney

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.     

Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.     

Andy Rooney

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.     

Andy Rooney

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.     

Andy Rooney

I've learned... that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.     

Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.     

Andy Rooney

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don't clean it up too quickly.     

Andy Rooney

Being kind is more important than being right.     

Andy Rooney

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature.     

Andy Rooney

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.     

Andy Rooney

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books, how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.     

Andy Rooney

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.     

Andy Rooney

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.     

Andy Rooney

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.     

Andy Rooney

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.     

Andy Rooney

Being kind is more important than being right.     

Andy Rooney

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them      

Andy Rooney

Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.     

Andy Rooney

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.     

Andy Rooney

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.      

Andy Rooney

Walking is good for the soul.     

Andy Rooney

We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.      

Andy Rooney

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.     

Andy Rooney

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.     

Andy Rooney

Finding the tool is often half the battle.     

Andy Rooney

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.      

Andy Rooney

A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.     

Andy Rooney

In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.     

Andy Rooney

People waiting for an elevator don't know what to do, standing with strangers. There is nothing to do. Its an uneasy time. Some press the button repeatedly as though it would help.     

Andy Rooney