Bill Maher Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old bill maher quotes, bill maher sayings, and bill maher proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.     

Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.     

Bill Maher

Don't get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.     

Bill Maher

The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.     

Bill Maher

You don't need a weapon to protect yourself.     

Bill Maher

I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight.     

Bill Maher

False hope really makes you cynical.     

Bill Maher

The public is gullible. ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth.     

Bill Maher

Fascism is when corporations become the government.     

Bill Maher

Like it or not, we're still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.     

Bill Maher

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.     

Bill Maher

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.      

Bill Maher

Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.      

Bill Maher

I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia. Is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of?     

Bill Maher

There's no greater model, in my view, than Jesus Christ.     

Bill Maher

When you tolerate intolerance, you're not really being a liberal.     

Bill Maher

North Carolina right now is going apeshit in a way no state ever has. Take every crazy, angry idea your drunk, right-wing uncle mumbles at Thanksgiving, turn it into a law, and that’s North Carolina today.     

Bill Maher