Chuck Palahniuk Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old chuck palahniuk quotes, chuck palahniuk sayings, and chuck palahniuk proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some blind, random disaster, or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He's taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of death from being a total surprise.      

Chuck Palahniuk

Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.     

Chuck Palahniuk

We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it's our job to invent something better.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Sundays tend to be a day where just I do nothing but visit people. It's kind of like trick-or-treating.     

Chuck Palahniuk

When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.     

Chuck Palahniuk

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.     

Chuck Palahniuk

You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth.     

Chuck Palahniuk

The only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Crying is right at hand in the smothering dark, closed inside someone else, when you see how everything you can ever accomplish will end up as trash.     

Chuck Palahniuk

The problem with educating stupid people was that they didn't know they were stupid. The same went for curing crazy people.     

Chuck Palahniuk

College is like a fountain of knowledge - and the students are there to drink     

Chuck Palahniuk

Our culture has made us all the same. No one is truly white or black or rich, anymore. We all want the same. Individually, we are nothing.     

Chuck Palahniuk

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Maybe it's just a daughter's job to piss off her mother.     

Chuck Palahniuk

When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake.     

Chuck Palahniuk

If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.     

Chuck Palahniuk

I just don't want to die without a few scars.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Your folks are like God because you want to know they're out there and you want them to approve of your life, still you only call them when you're in a crisis and need something.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life.     

Chuck Palahniuk

To merely observe your culture without contributing to it seems very close to existing as a ghost.     

Chuck Palahniuk

The truth is, immigrants tend to be more American than people born here.     

Chuck Palahniuk

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, doesn't it just lie there and rot?     

Chuck Palahniuk

You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you.     

Chuck Palahniuk

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.     

Chuck Palahniuk

The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Imagine books and music and movies being filtered and homogenized. Certified. Approved for consumption. People will be happy to give up most of their culture for the assurance that the tiny bit that comes through is safe and clean. White noise.     

Chuck Palahniuk

Here in the bathroom with me are razor blades. Here is iodine to drink. Here are sleeping pills to swallow. You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be. Every time you dont throw yourself down the stairs, thats a choice. Every time you dont crash your car, you reenlist.     

Chuck Palahniuk