Dave Barry Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Dave Barry quotes, Dave Barry sayings, and Dave Barry proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it. Dave Barry
Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really. Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that follow me closely here they generally take place in winter. Dave Barry
I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty seven year olds who tried to learn snowboarding. Dave Barry
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. Dave Barry
The easiest way to make a fruit cake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses. Dave Barry
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. Dave Barry
Dogs do not grasp the concept of house cleaning. Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that follow me closely here they generally take place in winter. Dave Barry
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. Dave Barry
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. Dave Barry
Today, it is easier to get divorced in most states than to get a transmission repaired properly. Dave Barry
You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings, even the truth. Dave Barry
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Dave Barry
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective. Dave Barry
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. Dave Barry
The internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, people without lives. We don't care. We have each other. Dave Barry
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. Dave Barry
Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals. Dave Barry
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their hands and feet make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. Dave Barry
And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind. Dave Barry
The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species. Dave Barry
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. Dave Barry
By the eighties, a lot of radio stations had started playing sixties music. They called it Classic Rock, because they knew we'd be upset if they came right out and called it what it is, namely middle-aged-person nostalgia music. Dave Barry
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. Dave Barry
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. Dave Barry
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires. Dave Barry
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. Dave Barry
Avoid the traffic by using one of the park's shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger. Dave Barry
Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline. Dave Barry