Dorothy Parker Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old dorothy parker quotes, dorothy parker sayings, and dorothy parker proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.     

Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live.     

Dorothy Parker

Lips that taste of tears, they say, Are the best for kissing.     

Dorothy Parker

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.     

Dorothy Parker

Time wounds all heels.     

Dorothy Parker

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.     

Dorothy Parker

They sicken of the calm who know the storm.     

Dorothy Parker

I love to drink martinis. Two at the very most. Three I'm under the table. Four I'm under my host.     

Dorothy Parker

Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.     

Dorothy Parker

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.     

Dorothy Parker

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.     

Dorothy Parker

What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.     

Dorothy Parker

My land is bare of chattering folk; the clouds are low along the ridges, and sweet's the air with curly smoke from all my burning bridges.     

Dorothy Parker

Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them.     

Dorothy Parker

Los Angeles is 72 suburbs in search of a city.     

Dorothy Parker

It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes.     

Dorothy Parker

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.     

Dorothy Parker

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.     

Dorothy Parker

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.     

Dorothy Parker

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.     

Dorothy Parker

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.     

Dorothy Parker

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.     

Dorothy Parker

Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.      

Dorothy Parker

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.     

Dorothy Parker

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of the tires.      

Dorothy Parker

I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again     

Dorothy Parker

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.     

Dorothy Parker

Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.     

Dorothy Parker

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.     

Dorothy Parker

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.     

Dorothy Parker