Jarod Kintz Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old jarod kintz quotes, jarod kintz sayings, and jarod kintz proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


I have a tongue like a rose petal, and when I say I love you, it has the fragrance of truth. My words are my garden, and I'm planting our future     

Jarod Kintz

You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.     

Jarod Kintz

When congratulations are in order, I like to wait until they're out of order to offer a high five or enthusiastic pat on the back.     

Jarod Kintz

Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.     

Jarod Kintz

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.     

Jarod Kintz

I bought two items to get a third free, and then I returned the two. I should be Shopper of the Year.     

Jarod Kintz

My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.     

Jarod Kintz

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.     

Jarod Kintz

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.     

Jarod Kintz

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.     

Jarod Kintz

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn't fit inside. But just because it won't fit, doesn't mean you shouldn't empty the trash.     

Jarod Kintz

Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whiskey.     

Jarod Kintz

I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction.     

Jarod Kintz

The ability to gauge intelligence is itself a form of intelligence. Monkeys don't ponder how smart monkeys are. Ditto for politicians.     

Jarod Kintz

Doors open up for you when you work hard. Doors also open up for you when you walk with a limp and act gimpy.     

Jarod Kintz

Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.     

Jarod Kintz

I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner.     

Jarod Kintz

Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whiskey.     

Jarod Kintz

Things aren't often what they appear to be at first blush. But embarrassment is.     

Jarod Kintz

Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.     

Jarod Kintz

At first sign of crisis, the ignorant don't panic because they don't know what's going on, and then later they panic precisely because they don't know what's going on.     

Jarod Kintz

The most deadly combination known to man is low IQ and high testosterone.     

Jarod Kintz

Too much nudity is a turn off. Especially if all that flesh is on one person.     

Jarod Kintz

Gather the wheelchairs in a circle, and then summon the cripples. Would anybody care for a glass of discrimination     

Jarod Kintz

Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair.      

Jarod Kintz

In the lobby of every business incubator there needs to be a bathtub, to get the ideas flowing. But to make it functional, it needs to be used as a fish tank.      

Jarod Kintz

You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.     

Jarod Kintz

A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away.     

Jarod Kintz

The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.     

Jarod Kintz

Hungry and thirsty? Soup solves both problems at once.     

Jarod Kintz