Jeff Foxworthy Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old jeff foxworthy quotes, jeff foxworthy sayings, and jeff foxworthy proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.     

Jeff Foxworthy

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.     

Jeff Foxworthy

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.     

Jeff Foxworthy

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.     

Jeff Foxworthy

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet Ms. Right.     

Jeff Foxworthy

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.      

Jeff Foxworthy

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if…your home has more miles on it than your car.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.     

Jeff Foxworthy

How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado? You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if...you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.     

Jeff Foxworthy

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.     

Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.     

Jeff Foxworthy

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if...your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.     

Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.     

Jeff Foxworthy

There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.     

Jeff Foxworthy

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.     

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.     

Jeff Foxworthy

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.     

Jeff Foxworthy