Josh Billings Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old josh billings quotes, josh billings sayings, and josh billings proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.     

Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.     

Josh Billings

There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.      

Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.     

Josh Billings

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.      

Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.      

Josh Billings

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.     

Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.     

Josh Billings

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.      

Josh Billings

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.     

Josh Billings

Common sense is the ability to see things as they are without prejudice and do things as they ought to be done without influence of any kind.     

Josh Billings

Common sense is an instinct given to man and enough of it is genius. Smartness is measured by the level of common sense one has, not by how much educated or knowledgeable he is.     

Josh Billings

Some folks as they grow older grow wise but most folks simply grow stubborner.     

Josh Billings

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of a success than an angleworm is.     

Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.     

Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.     

Josh Billings

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.     

Josh Billings

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.     

Josh Billings

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.     

Josh Billings

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.     

Josh Billings

Pity costs nothing, and it ain't worth nothing.     

Josh Billings

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.     

Josh Billings

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed     

Josh Billings

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.     

Josh Billings

There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.     

Josh Billings

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.     

Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.     

Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.     

Josh Billings

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel     

Josh Billings

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.     

Josh Billings