Kurt Vonnegut Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old kurt vonnegut quotes, kurt vonnegut sayings, and kurt vonnegut proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


How complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Earthlings went on being friendly, when they should have been thinking instead.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Earthlings are the great explainers, explaining why this event is structured as it is, telling how other events may be achieved or avoided.     

Kurt Vonnegut

The two prime movers in the Universe are Time and Luck.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Having a yacht is a reason for being more cheerful than most.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Being a humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.     

Kurt Vonnegut

The Earthlings behaved at all times as though there were a big eye in the sky – as though that big eye were ravenous for entertainment.     

Kurt Vonnegut

That's one thing Earthlings might learn to do, if they tried hard enough: Ignore the awful times and concentrate on the good ones.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.     

Kurt Vonnegut

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.     

Kurt Vonnegut

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.     

Kurt Vonnegut

It's a terrible waste to be happy and not notice it.     

Kurt Vonnegut

What good is a planet called Earth, after all, if you own no land?     

Kurt Vonnegut

The Great Depression was going on, so that the station and the streets teemed with homeless people, just as they do today. The newspapers were full of stories of worker layoffs and farm foreclosures and bank failures, just as they are today. All that has changed, in my opinion, is that, thanks to television, we can hide a Great Depression. We may even be hiding a Third World War.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Here we are trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.     

Kurt Vonnegut

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Only nut cases want to be president. This was true even in high school. Only clearly disturbed people ran for class president.     

Kurt Vonnegut

There is a riddle about a man who is locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar, and the question is: How does he survive? The answer is: He eats dates from the calendar and drinks from the springs of the bed.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Jokes have to be quite naked to be understood. They have to be quite simple.     

Kurt Vonnegut

The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?     

Kurt Vonnegut

Son—they say there isn't any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose.     

Kurt Vonnegut

We're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive. It's pretty dense kids who haven't figured that out by the time they're ten.... Most kids can't afford to go to Harvard and be misinformed.     

Kurt Vonnegut

The only thing I ever learned was that some people are lucky and other people aren't and not even a graduate of the Harvard Business School can say why.     

Kurt Vonnegut

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high-school class is running the country.     

Kurt Vonnegut

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.     

Kurt Vonnegut

It's obvious through human experience that extended families and tribes are terribly important. We can do without an extended family as human beings about as easily as we can do without vitamins or essential minerals.     

Kurt Vonnegut

The big show is inside my head.     

Kurt Vonnegut

The world is full of people who are very clever at seeming much smarter than they really are.     

Kurt Vonnegut