Mark Twain Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old mark twain quotes, mark twain sayings, and mark twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody     

Mark Twain

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.     

Mark Twain

Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes, and wishes he was certain.     

Mark Twain

Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.     

Mark Twain

Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.     

Mark Twain

When in doubt, tell the truth.     

Mark Twain

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.     

Mark Twain

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd have frozen to death.     

Mark Twain

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.     

Mark Twain

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy must have somebody to divide it with.     

Mark Twain

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.     

Mark Twain

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.     

Mark Twain

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.     

Mark Twain

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.     

Mark Twain

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.     

Mark Twain

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.     

Mark Twain

A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.     

Mark Twain

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.     

Mark Twain

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.     

Mark Twain

Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying-power of brawn and muscle     

Mark Twain

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.     

Mark Twain

A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words... the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.     

Mark Twain

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.     

Mark Twain

I think a compliment ought to always precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.     

Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing, Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.     

Mark Twain

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.     

Mark Twain

Fewer things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.     

Mark Twain

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.     

Mark Twain

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.     

Mark Twain

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!     

Mark Twain