Stephen Leacock Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old stephen leacock quotes, stephen leacock sayings, and stephen leacock proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.     

Stephen Leacock

The tears of childhood fall fast and easily, and evil be to him who makes them flow.     

Stephen Leacock

With the Great Detective, to think was to act, and to act was to think. Frequently he could do both together.     

Stephen Leacock

Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.     

Stephen Leacock

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.     

Stephen Leacock

The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.     

Stephen Leacock

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.     

Stephen Leacock

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.     

Stephen Leacock

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.     

Stephen Leacock

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.     

Stephen Leacock

The parent who could see his boy as he really is would shake his head and say, 'Willie is no good. I'll sell him.'     

Stephen Leacock

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.     

Stephen Leacock

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.     

Stephen Leacock

And beer rolled down the Tennessee and California Wine Was used as Blood for Hollywood.     

Stephen Leacock

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.     

Stephen Leacock

A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something. Not that he's cruel. He wouldn't hurt a fly. It's not big enough.      

Stephen Leacock

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.     

Stephen Leacock