Terry Pratchett Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old terry pratchett quotes, terry pratchett sayings, and terry pratchett proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Coffee was only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your slightly older self.     

Terry Pratchett

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.     

Terry Pratchett

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.     

Terry Pratchett

Sometimes the only thing you could do for people was to be there.     

Terry Pratchett

Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.     

Terry Pratchett

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.     

Terry Pratchett

Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?     

Terry Pratchett

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.     

Terry Pratchett

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.     

Terry Pratchett

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.     

Terry Pratchett

Given enough coffee I could rule the world.     

Terry Pratchett

Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.     

Terry Pratchett

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.     

Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.     

Terry Pratchett

The dogged determination and patience of one person to do what is Right and Necessary may not always win the day or even be noticed, but it will tip the balance just a little in the direction of good.     

Terry Pratchett

Where there is personality, there is discord.     

Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.     

Terry Pratchett

Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.     

Terry Pratchett

Oh, a very useful philosophical animal, your average tortoise. Outrunning metaphorical arrows, beating hares in races... very handy.     

Terry Pratchett

People are often so busy living that they never stop to wonder why.     

Terry Pratchett

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.     

Terry Pratchett

I think the best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's.     

Terry Pratchett

It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.     

Terry Pratchett

The truth is a fog, in which one man sees the heavenly host and the other one sees a flying elephant     

Terry Pratchett

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.     

Terry Pratchett

Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.     

Terry Pratchett

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.     

Terry Pratchett

Modesty is only arrogance by stealth.     

Terry Pratchett

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.     

Terry Pratchett

Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist.     

Terry Pratchett