Dental Sayings and Quotes

Love visiting the dentist? Didn’t think so. While necessary for our well being and dental hygiene, a pending dental appointment can spark feelings of dread and anxiety. If going to the dentist gives you the creeps, you’ll enjoy the collection of humorous dental quotes below.

Faced with the choice of enduring a bad toothache or going to the dentist, we generally tried to ride out the bad tooth.     

Joseph Barbera

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.     

Johnny Carson

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.     

Ogden Nash

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.     

Ambrose Bierce

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas.     

Mason Cooley

It was a sweet smile, but it hid menace, like the kind dentists gave.     

Andy Paine

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.     

Steven Wright

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.     

Rodney Dangerfield

An aching tooth is better out than in. To lose a rotting member is a gain.     

Richard Baxter

I wonder if there's such a thing as a spiritual dentist? I think my whole personality is full of cavities!     

Charles M. Schulz

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.     

Ann Landers

I was never afraid of anything in the world except the dentist.     

Taylor Caldwell

I won't have to brush my teeth or floss tonight. Any food trapped in my teeth got knocked out.     

Charles Thomas

Good dental care doesn't make you a good student, but if your tooth hurts, it's hard to be a good student.     

Geoffrey Canada

When life is kicking others in the teeth, Become a dentist.     

Kevin Myers

Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.     

Soupy Sales

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth.     

George D. Prentice

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him.     

Martin H. Fischer

Brush your teeth everyday, To keep dentist away.     


A dentist gets to the root of the problem.     


I was a left-handed dentist who made people cry.     

Casey Stengel

My dentist is actually a highly technical specialist, constantly experimenting with the latest dental research. The equipment he has makes my old dentist look prehistoric.     

Joelle Carter

Smile, it lets your teeth breathe.     


Trips to the dentist I like to postpone that kind of thing.     

Johnny Depp