Drunk Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old drunk quotes, drunk sayings, and drunk proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.     

Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

He that is a drunkard is qualified for all vice.     

Wellins Calcott

Being half drunk is just another way of saying ‘your almost there.     

Jarrod Conway

Drunkenness is temporary suicide.     

Bertrand Russell

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold.     

William Shakespeare

I may be drunk, but in the morning i‘ll be sober and you‘ll still be ugly.     

Winston Churchill

They who drink beer will think beer.     

Washington Irving

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.     

Raymond Chandler

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk     

Alben William Barkley

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.     

Dean Martin

Drunk forever dreaming you with or without you     

M.F. Moonzajer

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.     

Lord Byron

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.     

W.C. Fields

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.     

Samuel Johnson

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.     

George Burns

A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.     

Austin O'Malley

I liked you better when you were drunk .     

Tom Hardy

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.     

Ozzy Osbourne

Nothing makes you forget everything as getting drunk of red wine.     

M.F. Moonzajer

To dispute with a drunkard is to debate with an empty house.     

Publilius Syrus

No nation is drunken where wine is cheap.     

Thomas Jefferson

As long as I could pitch a little, no one cared that I was getting drunk.     

Don Newcombe

Not every man remembers the name of the cow which supplied him with each drop of milk he has drunk.     

Shmuel Yosef Agnon

Hit the bottom and get back up; or hit the bottle and stay down.     

Anthony Liccione

He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.     

Nora Ephron

He that drinks fast, pays slow.     

Benjamin Franklin

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.     

Humphrey Bogart

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.     

Seneca The Younger

I was always playing the hard-bitten drunk.     

Sally Kellerman

A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.     

Steve Fergosi

If you want to get drunk, get drunk with love.     

Debasish Mridha

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.     

William Butler Yeats

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy, I've done it a thousand times.     

W.C. Fields

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.     

Ernest Hemingway

I love to drink martinis. Two at the very most. Three I'm under the table. Four I'm under my host.     

Dorothy Parker

It's okay saying sorry, but when you are drunk you say what you really feel.     

Vidal Sassoon

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.     

Charlie Chaplin

An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.     

Dr. Alvan L. Barach

Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better.     

Damien Hirst

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.     

Dean Martin

Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone's drunk all the time.     

Clea Duvall

You don't quite know how drunk you are until all of a sudden you're on the floor.     

Gina Gershon

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.     

Charles Darwin

When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.     

Jessica Nigri

I drink to forget I drink.     

Joe E. Lewis

Being sober a long time is a gift, but watching it touch lives around us is even sweeter.     

Gene O

I know I should give up drinking; but I am not a quitter     


I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.     

Winston Churchill

I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.     

Frank Sinatra

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.     

Henny Youngman