Funny Animal Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny animal quotes, funny animal sayings, and funny animal proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.     

Josh Billings

The heart of animals is the foundation of their life, the sovereign of everything within them, the sun of their microcosm, that upon which all growth depends, from which all power proceeds.     

William Harvey

The dogs were really keening now, like Irish widows.     

Thomas Keneally

The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.     

Valeriu Butulescu

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.     

Corey Ford

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.     

Terry Pratchett

The fate of animals is of far greater importance to me than the fear of appearing ridiculous.     

Emile Zola

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.     

Sue Murphy

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.     

John Peer

Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.     

Sir Winston Churchill

Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.     

Emily Dickinson

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much.     

Thornton Wilder

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.     

Abraham Lincoln

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.     

Winston Churchill

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem.     

A. A. Milne

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.     

Franklin P. Jones

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.     

Ben Williams

Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.     

Tamora Pierce

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.     

Phil Pastoret

We all know interspecies romance is weird.     

Tim Burton

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.     

Mary Bly

From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.     

Mabel Louise Robinson

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.     

Hazel Nicholson

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.     

Steven Alexander Wright

Animals are such agreeable friends -- they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.     

George Eliot

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.     

Jacques Deval

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.     

Ogden Nash

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.     

Rita Rudner

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer.     

Alfred North Whitehead