Funny Basketball Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny basketball quotes, funny basketball sayings, and funny basketball proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem. There is no answer.     

Shaquille O'Neal

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.     

Abe Lemmons

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.     

Charles Barkley

This is basketball, not figure skating. You don't get extra points for degree of difficulty.     

Bob Hurley

Basketball is like photography, if you don't focus, all you have is the negative.     

Dan Frisby

A tough day at the office is even tougher when your office contains spectator seating.     

Nik Posa

What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?     

Woody Allen

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.     

Ogden Nash

If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball.     

Phil Jackson

Shooting is just like toenails. They may fall off occasionally, but you know they'll always come back.     

Charles Johnson

I'm not against taking shots, but I am against taking bad shots.     

Hank Iba

You don't play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball.     

Bobby Knight

"The invention of basketball was not an accident.It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play “Drop the Handkerchief.     

James Naismith

This [basketball] is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators.     

Dick Vertleib

If you make every game a life and death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot.      

Dean Smith

Basketball is not an equal opportunity game. If you can't shoot it well, you don't get to shoot.     

Bob Hurley

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.     

Wilt Chamberlain

You can say something to popes, kings and presidents, but you can't talk to officials. In the next war they ought to give everyone a whistle.     

Abe Lemmons

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.     

Jerry Tarkanian

Believe that the loose ball that you are chasing has your name wirtten on it.     

Mike Krzyzewski

We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.      

Weldon Drew

Not only is there more to life than basketball, there's a lot more to basketball than basketball.     

Phil Jackson