Funny Car Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny car quotes, funny car sayings, and funny car proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.     

Francoise Sagan

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.     

Prince Philip

Relationships, like cars, should undergo regular services to make sure they are still roadworthy.     

Zygmunt Bauman

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'     

Rita Rudner

Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.     

Colin Powell

The car has become an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete in the urban compound.     

Marshall McLuhan

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.     

Albert Einstein

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.     

Doug Larson

It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down.     

Mario Andretti

The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.     

Marshall McLuhan

More books, more racing and more foolishness with cars and motorcycles are in the works.     

Brock Yates

Never have more children than you have car windows.     

Erma Bombeck

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.     

Jeff Foxworthy

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.     

Jeremy Clarkson

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.     

Tim Allen

We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyone's arguing over where they're going to sit.     

David Suzuki

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.     

Earl Wilson

A car can massage organs which no masseur can reach. It is the one remedy for the disorders of the great sympathetic nervous system.     

Jean Cocteau

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.     

Dudley Moore

Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.     

Colin Mcrae

In the old days drivers were fat and tires were skinny.     

Jose Froilan Gonzalez

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.     

Tim Allen

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?     

Steven Wright

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.     

Ben Berger

Bicycling is a big part of the future. It has to be. There's something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out in a gym.     

Bill Nye

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.     

Craig Benzine

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.     

E. B. White

With each replacement of parts, a car slowly becomes Chinese.     

Mr. Kuniyasu

Take care of your car in the garage, and the car will take care of you on the road.     

Amit Kalantri

Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars.     

Tom Arnold