Funny Customer Service Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny customer service quotes, funny customer service sayings, and funny customer service proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

The irony of good customer service is that over time it will bring in more new customers than promotions and price slashing ever did!     

Susan Ward

If you're not serving the customer, your job is to be serving someone who is.     

Jan Carlzon

Be dramatically willing to focus on the customer at all costs, even at the cost of obsoleting your own stuff.     

Scott D. Cook

Thank your customer for complaining and mean it. Most will never bother to complain. They'll just walk away.     

Marilyn Suttle

Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3."     

Randy Glasbergen

There's a place in the world for any business that takes care of its customers-after the sale.     

Harvey Mackay

A smile is a curve that sets things straight.     

Phyllis Diller

The single most important thing is to make people happy. If you are making people happy, as a side effect, they will be happy to open up their wallets and pay you.     

Derek Sivers

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.     

Theodore Roosevelt

Customer service is not a department, it's everyone's job.      

Ken Blanchard

Your satisfaction is our top priority. So if you could try to act really satisfied, that would be a big help.     

Randy Glasbergen

There's no such thing as ‘hard sell' and ‘soft sell.' There's only ‘smart sell' and ‘stupid sell.'     

Leo Burnett

One customer well taken care of could be more valuable than $10,000 worth of advertising.     

Jim Rohn

If we can keep our competitors focused on us while we stay focused on the customer, ultimately we'll turn out all right.     

Jeff Bezos

Spend a lot of time talking to customers face to face. You'd be amazed how many companies don't listen to their customers.     

Ross Perot

Swallowing your pride occasionally will never give you indigestion.     


Customers long to interact with - even relate to - employees who act like there is still a light on inside.     

Chip Bell

Although your customers won't love you if you give bad service, your competitors will.     

Kate Zabriskie

A satisfied customer — we should have him stuffed!     

John Cleese

You know your business model is broken when you're suing your customers.     

Paul Graham

If you have a job without aggravations, you don't have a job.     

Malcolm Forbes

The only thing worse than training employees and losing them is not training them and keeping them.     

Zig Ziglar

I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.     

Ernest Hemingway

Customers who are merely satisfied remain your customers only as long as everything goes their way.     

Chip Bell

Customer: A person who indirectly pays for all your vacations, hobbies, and golf games and gives you the opportunity to better yourself.     


Customers are like teeth. If you don't take care of them they go away one by one until there are none.     

Jerry Flanagan

It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages.     

Henry Ford

Deep down, we believe that the problem put simply, is THEM. They, of course, believe WE are the problem.     


A brand not responding on Twitter is like hanging up the phone on customers. With millions watching.     

Dave Kerpen

Good customer service costs less than bad customer service.     

Sally Gronow