Funny Engagement Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny engagement quotes, funny engagement sayings, and funny engagement proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Marriage is a three-ring circus. First the engagement ring, the the wedding ring, then the suffering.     

Milton Berle

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night.     

Paul Hornung

The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I'll do the dishes.'     

Anonymous

Marriage is a workshop… where husband works and wife shops.     

unknown

Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it's because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word.     

Janet Periat

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.     

W. C. Fields

The secret of a happy marriage remains… a secret.     

Henny Youngman

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.     

unknown

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.     

Peter De Vries

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.     

Elbert Hubbard

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore.     

unknown

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.     

Erma Bombeck

Marriages don't work when one partner is happy and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable.     

Forget Paris

They say marriages are made in heaven, but so is thunder and lightning.     

Clint Eastwood

A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.     

Anonymous

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.     

Pacifist Ray

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.     

unknown

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!     

unknown

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.     

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is nature's way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child.     

Robert Brault

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.     

Socrates

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.     

Michel de Montaigne

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore.     

Genevieve Nnaji

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.     

Mickey Rooney

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.     

Raymond Hull

Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.     

Zig Ziglar

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.     

Jean Kerr

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.     

Anonymous

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.     

Groucho Marx

The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.     

H.L Mencken

Engagement marks the end of a whirlwind romance and beginning of an eternal love story.     

Rajeev Ranjan

The highest happiness on earth is marriage.     

William Lyon Phelps

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.     

Robert Browning

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.     

Nora Ephron

I couldn’t have dreamed you into existence because I didn’t even know I needed you. You must have been sent to me.     

Kamand Kojouri

True love stories never have endings.     

Richard Bach

Chains do not hold marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.     

Simone Signoret

And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.     

Kiersten White

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It’s called love.     

Gene Perret

All commands from your lips are sweet, I say, and now have you not said the sweetest of all? Marry you!     

Byron Caldwell Smith

Marriages aren't fireproof. Sometimes you get burned.     

Alex Kendrick

For you I make the promise of fidelity / Now and for eternity / No one could replace this vow / For you I'd take your hand and heart / And everything / And add to them a wedding ring     

Kenny Lerum

It's a beautiful night / We're looking for something dumb to do / Hey baby / I think I wanna marry you     

Ari Levine

Is it the look in your eyes / Or is it this dancing juice? / Who cares baby / I think I wanna marry you     

Ari Levine

A great engagement doesn't just happen-you make it happen by setting realistic goal and then working hard to achieve them.     

Zondervan

Many couples enter engagement with already stressed family relationships.     

Zondervan

Having a great engagement in those months before you get marries could be compared to having a great pregnancy before you become parents.     

Zondervan

Transitional times are stressful, but having a great engagement can lead to a great marriage.     

Zondervan

Spend time reminding yourself of your goal to enjoy this engagement process, minimize external stress, and cherish your fiance.     

Zondervan

If you want a great engagement, set appropriate physical boundaries, get into accountability groups or same-sex friendships.     

Greg Smalley

If you want to increase your chances of having what we would consider a successful engagement, it's imperative that you visualize what needs to happen.     

Greg Smalley

God uses marriage to accomplish a very important goal - to help us become like Christ.     

Greg Smalley

The Bible takes engagement very seriously, and for that reason we should too.     

Myles Munroe

In modern Western culture, engagement is not a serious thing.     

Myles Munroe

Many people today, particularly those of the youngest generations, are afraid of commitment. They don't want to be 'tied down.'     

Myles Munroe

Most of us view engagement as a 'trial period,' a chance to 'test the waters' before plunging into the deep ocean of marriage.     

Myles Munroe

As far as society is concerned, nothing is truly binding about engagement; nothing is really etched in stone.     

Myles Munroe

Engagement is a worthy declaration to the public, church or society that the couple is planning to marry soon.     

Nurra Hooper

Courtship may come after engagement but it may differ in some cultures, churches, communities and etc.     

Nurra Hooper

Some people or cultures take engagement as marriage.     

Nurra Hooper

Christian marriage is an institution ordained by God for the long-term relationship between one man and one woman.     

Nurra Hooper

Start your marriage respecting each other so that people around you will respect you.     

Nurra Hooper

Falling in love with someone and finding out they want to spend the rest of their life with you is one of the most exhilarating of all human experiences.     

Gary Thomas

Depending upon who you are and where you have been, each of you will have your own expectations about what love, romance, and marriage will look like.     

Gary Thomas

No matter whom you date and eventually marry, every one is a flawed sinner-beginning with you.     

Gary Thomas

Take time in pre-engagement or pre-marriage conversations to understand the balance of baggage and burdens vs blessings.     

Gary Thomas

Every wedding day is different, and every individual faces it with fears, delusions, fantasies, doubts, excitement, joy, laughter, and even tears.     

Gary Thomas

There is virtually nothing you can do that has more power to enhance your life than to build and protect a great and happy marriage.     

Howard J. Markman

The perfect marriage is a uniting of three persons--a man and a woman and God. That is what makes marriage holy.     

Billy Graham

Marriage is a holy bond because it permits two people to help each other work out their spiritual destinies. God declared marriage to be good.     

Billy Graham

Nothing brings more joy than a good marriage, and nothing brings more misery than a bad marriage.     

Billy Graham

First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring..soon after..comes suffer..ing!     

Jay Leno

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.     

Al Gore

Nowadays in other to reduce cost, engagement is done a day before the church wedding.     

Cecilia Gbemisola Obisakin

Often an engagement ring marking this obligation, is given by the man to his intended bride.     

Cecilia Gbemisola Obisakin

The ring not only signifies their intent to marry, but also publicly identifies the couple.     

Cecilia Gbemisola Obisakin

The engagement ring, on the fourth finger is a sign of promise and marriage commitment to someone who is very dear to your heart.     

Cecilia Gbemisola Obisakin