Funny Food Sayings and Quotes

Food is a great unifier. While we all have different preferences, cuisine favorites, and vices, everyone can poke fun at their food choices. Check out the gut-busting collection of funny food quotes below.


Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry.     

Mike Kalin

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.     

W.C. Fields

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.     

Oscar Wilde

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.     

Orson Welles

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.     

Will Rogers

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.     

Judith Viorst

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.     

Ellen DeGeneres

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.     

Julia Child

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.     

Fran Lebowitz

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.     

Erma Bombeck

I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it.     

George Carlin

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the "Titanic" who waved off the dessert cart.     

Erma Bombeck

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.     

Calvin Trillin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.     

Mark Twain

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.     

Jim Davis

The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!     

Terry Moore

A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze.     

Stephen King

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.     

George Carlin

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.     

Buddy Hackett

Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche.     

Lewis Grizzard

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.     

Doug Larson

Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup.     

Henry James

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!     

Roald Dahl

When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight.     

Yogi Berra

I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a moustache.     

Niles Crane

Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.     

Joss Whedon

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.     

Mark Twain

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again.     

George Miller

I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni.     

Ulrik Stephens

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.     

Kevin James