Funny Friend Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny friend quotes, funny friend sayings, and funny friend proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.     

Randy K. Milholland

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.     

Samuel Butler

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.     

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.     

Sébastien-Roch Nicolas

If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking, they can make you laugh.     

P.C. Cast

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.     

Doug Larson

Friendship is being there when someone's feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.     

Randy K. Milholland

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.     

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best time to make friends is before you need them.     

Ethel Barrymore

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.     

John Churton Collins

Nothing makes you happier than your friend's failure.     


Real friends don't get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.     


We are best friends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up, after I finish laughing.     


Being friendless taught me how to be a friend. Funny how that works.     

Colleen Wainwright

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.     


Friends buy you a lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.     


Friends were like clothes: fine while they lasted but eventually they wore thin or you grew out of them.     

David Nicholls

Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friend's shortcomings.     

Mason Cooley

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.     


I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.     

Mark Twain

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.     

Erma Bombeck

True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.     

David Tyson

If your friends don't make fun of you, they're not really your friends.     


A true friend stabs you in the front.     

Oscar Wilde

Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.     


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.     

Publilius Syrus

A friend is like a good bra: hard to find, comfortable, supportive, always lifts you up, makes you look better, never lets you down or leaves you hanging, and always close to your heart.     


No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.     

Groucho Marx

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.     

Abraham Lincoln

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.     

Lord Chesterfield