Funny Love Sayings and Quotes

It’s easy to get sentimental about love. It triggers so many passionate emotions. But love can also be funny and awkward. Below you’ll find a collection of humorous and funny love quotes.

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.     

Zsa Zsa Gabor

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.     

Agatha Christie

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.     

Joan Crawford

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there.     

George Burns

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.     

Fran Lebowitz

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.     

Tim Allen

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.     

Carroll Bryant

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?     

Jean Illsley Clarke

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.     

Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener     

Pauline Thomason

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.     

Helen Gurley Brown

I had a dream that i still loved you...I think I woke up screaming.     


It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.     

Lucille Ball

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.     


If you text 'I love you' to a person and the person writes back an emoji - no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back.     

Chelsea Peretti

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.     

Steven Wright

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.     

Albert Einstein

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.     

Thomas Dewar

I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it.     

Elizabeth Evans

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.     

Charles M. Schulz

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.     

Fulton J. Sheen

If you love 'em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love 'em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you're in love.     

Miles Davis

You can't put a price tag on love. But if you could, I'd wait for it to go on sale.     

Hussein Nishah

In any perfect relationship men should remember it's a matter of direction; she takes what's right and you take what's left.     

Solitaire Parke

Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.     

Bree Luckey

My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.     

Rodney Dangerfield

Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.     

Jewish Proverb

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.     

Judith Viorst

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.     

Cathy Carlyle

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.     

Erich Segal