Funny Motivational Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny motivational quotes, funny motivational sayings, and funny motivational proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.     


If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck.     

Elvis Presley

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.     

Helen Rowland

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.     

Charles Schulz

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it.     

Brian Vaszily

The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.     

James Jason

When you have failed at being nice, you've actually succeeded in being mean. Success is everywhere if you know where to look for it.     

Katina Ferguson

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.     

Dale Carnegie

The process of learning is a nonstop orgy of wonderment.     

Lev Grossman

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.     

Franklin P. Jones

Aspire to inspire before we expire.     

Eugene Bell Jr.

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.     

Robert Frost

When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. Don't complain about the mud!     

Hyacinth Mottley

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.     

Will Rogers

Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body.     

Martin Meadows

If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together.     

Michael P. Clutton

I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.     

Ellen DeGeneres

Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.     

Kyle Chandler

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you're alive it isn't.     

Richard Bach

If you're going through hell, keep going.     

Winston Churchill

Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.     

Paula Wall

Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address.     

Thomas Abreu

I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.     

Groucho Marx

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.     

Winston Churchill

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.     

Ron White

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.     

Dalai Lama

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.     

Mark Twain

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.     

Lily Tomlin

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.     

Joe Girard

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.     

Robert Benchley