The office isn’t typically considered a place for fun, but it’s hard not to find humor in a place we spend so much of our time. Take a load off with the collection of humorous and funny work quotes below.
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.Groucho Marx
0
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?Edgar Bergen
0
What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.Vilhjalmur Stefansson
0
My son is now an 'entrepreneur.' That's what you're called when you don't have a job.Ted Turner
0
The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.Dennis Miller
0
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings. Dave Barry
0
I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Bill Gates
0
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.Erma Bombeck
0
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.Drew Carey
0
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.Jerome K. Jerome
0
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.Harry S. Truman
0
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: Whose?Don Marquis
0
Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.Leslie Nielsen
0
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.Oscar Wilde
0
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.Charles Lamb
0
A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.Fats Domino
0
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.Les Dawson
0
Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.Ray Kroc
0
In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing.William Wordsworth
0
The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.Sarah Brown
0
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route.Malcolm S. Forbes
0
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.Robert Benchley
0
I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.Homer Simpson
0
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.Robert Frost
0
When we're unemployed, we're called lazy; when the whites are unemployed it's called a depression.Jesse Jackson
0
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.Fred Allen
0
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.George Burns
0
The first thing a new employee should do on the job is learn to recognize his boss' voice on the phone.Martin Buxbaum
0
If A equal success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play and Z is keep your mouth shut.Albert Einstein
0
God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.Bill Watterson
0
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.Charlie McCarthy
1
I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.Clarence Darrow
0
If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.Claude McDonald
0
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.Don Herold
0
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.Douglas Adams
0
It's better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.Dwight D. Eisenhower
0
Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.Ed Bernard
0
People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.Elbert Hubbard
0
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin
0
I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.Henny Youngman
0
It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
0
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.Homer Simpson
0
Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.Homer Simpson
0
A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn’t feel like it; an amateur is one who can’t when he does feel like it.James Agate
0
Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.James Patrick Murray
0
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.Jennifer Yane
0
You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.Jim Rohn
0
The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.Joe Girard
0
People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The trouble is they want a week’s pay for it.Joey Adams
0
Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.John Ciardi
0
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.John Gotti
0
There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?Kin Hubbard
0
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.Kooper Salmo
0
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.Mark Twain
0
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.Napoleon Bonaparte
0
An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.Niels Bohr
0
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.Ogden Nash
0
Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.Pablo Picasso
0
Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.Peter Drucker
0
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.Rick Tocquigny
0
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.Robert Frost
0
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.Robert Orben
0
The taxpayer – that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.Ronald Reagan
0
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.Sam Ewing
0
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.Scott Adams
0
The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.Stanley J. Randall
0
Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?Steve Jobs
0
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, Certainly, I can! Then get busy and find out how to do it.Teddy Roosevelt
0
Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.Tim Notke
0
Are you aware that rushing toward a goal is a sublimated death wish? It’s no coincidence we call them “deadlines. Tom Robbins
0
I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.unknown
0
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.unknown
0
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.unknown
0
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.Will Rogers
0
An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.William Castle
0
It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.William Faulkner
0
A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.Zig Ziglar
0
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.Zig Ziglar
Log in with Google 
Log in with Facebook 
