Jokes Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old jokes quotes, jokes sayings, and jokes proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Beware of jokes from which we go away hollow and ashamed.     

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.     

George Eliot

It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.     

Rick Riordan

The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.     

Kurt Vonnegut

God's jokes are the soul's curriculum.     

John Perry Barlow

Jokes are very curious things psychologically.     

James Callis

For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.     

Laurence Sterne

You shouldn’t make jokes if it makes you so unhappy.     

Lewis Carroll

The shortest distance between two jokes makes a perfect speech.     

Orlando Aloysius Battista

The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. They had become stories.     

Stephen Chbosky

Jokes are generally honest. Complete solemnity is always dishonest.     

Gilbert K Chesterton

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.     

David M. Ogilvy

Jokes have to be quite naked to be understood. They have to be quite simple.     

Kurt Vonnegut

Even the people who do great jokes, its always coming out of a very real place.     

Brett Gelman

Life likes jokes; life is constantly making jokes, even at the most inopportune moments.     

Elizabeth McCracken

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.     

Stella Benson

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.     

Dick Gregory

Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.     

Brad Williams

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.     

John Oliver

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.     

Frank Muir

Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.     

Aziz Ansari

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.     

Isaac Asimov

The best jokes resonate because they uncover ridiculousness in our daily lives, reveal the silliness - and sometimes sadness - of things we see every day.     

Rachel Sklar

Jokes are ideally pleasurable. They are an act of assassination without a corpse, a moment of total annihilation that paradoxically makes anything possible.     

Penelope Gilliatt

Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.     

George Mikes

A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff. But most of it was all character situations leading to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character.     

Shawn Wayans

Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny.     

Ricky Gervais

Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction, and there's truth in them, you haven't nailed it. They aren't as funny as they could be, and they don't make a point.     

Dan Jenkins

Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get there. Not one comedian in the world ever really knows.     

Emo Philips

Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture; the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as cliche or old wives' tales do.     

Jimmy Carr

You have to begin to develop a repertory of jokes, multi-plane spiritual jokes, the sort of things the Zen masters tell each other when they're asleep. These are the secret teachings.     

Frederick Lenz

To me, the highest expression of life is art with jokes. It's very rarified, very difficult to accomplish if you want to be more than just funny, and more than just jokes about human gaseousness.     

Neil Peart

There are a lot of great jokes you can sit down and write, but that's just a written joke, versus the comedy of the situation. Ideally, you're pulling as much comedy out of the situation as you can.     

John Mulaney

Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience.     

Mike Birbiglia

In both jokes and dreams, Freud observed, meanings are condensed and displaced, things are represented indirectly or by their opposites, fallacious reasoning trumps logic. Jokes often arise involuntarily, like dreams, and tend to be swiftly forgotten. From these similarities Freud inferred that jokes and dreams share a common origin in the unconscious. Both are essentially means of outwitting our inner censor.     

Jim Holt

Most jokes state a bitter truth.     

Larry Gelbart

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.     

Seth MacFarlane

Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what.     

Jackson Browne

Jokes are unanswerable objections.     

Mason Cooley

Jokes are grievances.     

Marshall McLuhan