Roommate Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old roommate quotes, roommate sayings, and roommate proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

My roommate just told my other roommate that she's the worst roommate ever. That puts me in the clear!! Fraidy Bleedstich via Twitter
My roommate just finished her 1.5 hour shower and apologized, saying it was 'soooo theraputic.' Honestly, actual therapy would be cheaper. Jules Suzdaltsev via Twitter
Sure your boyfriend texts you 'Good morning' and 'Goodnight' every day, but my roommate says 'Sup' when he finally emerges from his room/lair to use the bathroom and then 'See ya' when he leaves for work 15 minutes later. Jenny Hart via Twitter
My favorite part of working from home is when my roommate doesn't realize I'm here and I get to hear her telling my cats she's their real mom. Anna Borges via Twitter
Please don't be that roommate who leaves just a little toilet paper so they don't have to be the one to get a new roll. Alejandro Hernandez via Twitter
The hardest part of having a roommate is convincing them that it's normal for their orange juice & shampoo to suddenly run out twice as fast. Ali Spagnola via Twitter
Oh great my roommate left just enough water in the Brita pitcher to inspire me to throw a banana at her head Amber Tozer via Twitter
Felt bold. Walked naked to the bathroom. My roommate & his friends got home & are in the living room. Yes, I'm stuck naked in bathroom. Anthony Troli via Twitter
My roommate insisted we push our twin beds together for more space in our dorm. The first night sleeping right next to each other he told me about how he thinks he is possessed by a demon. Matt Frye via Twitter
My roommate got a cat for a girl he was seeing. She couldn't have it in her apartment so it stayed with us. She proceeded to dump him, and then he moved out. And I got stuck with the cat . . . for 14 years. Steve Szyjewski via Twitter
I once had a roommate who would sit on the couch and eat Cheetos with socks in both hands because he was afraid the orange color would permanently dye his fingers. Christopher Hyer via Twitter
I had a roommate that showered with his clothes on, because apparently using the washing machine was too expensive. Will McCollister via Twitter
I once had a roommate who got so mad at everyone's dirty dishes that he bought his own set of silverware and wrote his name on every fork, spoon, and knife. Jimmy Fallon via Twitter
My college roommate is an exchange student from Brazil and her English is still a little rough. On opening night of my first college theater production, she ran up to me, hugged me, then shouted, 'I hope you break your legs!' Anna Fruechting via Twitter
A good roommate may be the single most important thing to have when one is away at school. Barbara Dana
Even a little self control can save you a lot of timeIts really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs. J. D. Salinger
I don't need to pay a therapist to give me crap. I have a roommate that does it for free. Ally McBeal
Everyone has this universal understanding of roommate drama. Leighton Meester
Some people may not take the roommate contracts seriously. Jack Ellis
Whenever I make spaghetti, I always make a few extra noodles because my roommate loves to eat them two or three hours later when they are cold and stuck to the strainer. Molly Wilson via Twitter
My friend's roommate wouldn't help split the cost of toilet paper so they chose to buy their own and not give her any, so she got mad at them and pooped on the floor and refused to clean it up. Chloe Skogland via Twitter