Sex Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old sex quotes, sex sayings, and sex proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.     

Woody Allen

When a person has sex, they're not just having it with that partner, they're having it with everybody that partner has had it with for the past ten years.     

Otis Ray Bowen

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!     

George Burns

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.     

John Barrymore

Women complain about sex more often than men. Their gripes fall into two major categories: (1) Not enough (2) Too much.     

Ann Landers

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.     

Les Dawson

Ultimately, love is much more important than sex and sex becomes greater when you're really in love.     

Calvin Klein

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.      


Sex is the most wonderful thing on this earth, as long as God is in it. When the Devil gets in it, it's the most terrible thing on this earth.     

Billy Graham

Food is like sex. When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.     

Beth McColliste

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.     

Billy Crystal

Sex is emotion in motion.     

Mae West

Fast sex, like fast food, is cheap, but it doesn't nourish the body – or the soul.     

Suzanne Fields

Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results,but that's not why we do it.      

Richard Feynman

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.     

Woody Allen

If two people loved, they slept together; it was a mathematical formula, tested and proved by human experience.     

Graham Greene

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.     

Barbara Cartland

Sex is like washing your face—just something you do because you have to. Sex without love is absolutely ridiculous. Sex follows love, it never precedes it.     

Sophia Loren

Sex is funny and love is serious.      

Stephan Jenkins

Sex is not sinful, but sin has perverted it.     

Walter Lang

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.     

W. C. Fields

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.      

Robert Byrne

The price of shallow sex may be a corresponding loss of capacity for deep love.     

Shana Alexander

The main thing to remember is that making love is at once the silliest and the most sacred act humans can perform.     

Patricia Briggs

Don't do it behind the garden gate. Love is blind but the neighbors ain't!      


Every time you have sex, you give away a little piece of your heart, and you give that away too many times and there's just nothing left and you've given away the most important part of yourself.     

Daren Kagasoff

Sex is like pizza, even if it's done bad, it's still good.     


The worst sex I've ever had has always been great.     

Vince McMahon

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.     


Sex divorced from love is the thief of personal dignity.     

Caitlin Thomas