Vodka Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old vodka quotes, vodka sayings, and vodka proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Madam, your Vodka gimlets are showing. Vodka, that's an alcohol rub from the inside. Larry Gilbert
Money, like vodka, turns a person into an eccentric. Anton Chekhov
Just because there is vodka in my freezer it doesn’t mean I have to drink it. Wait, yes it does. Emerson Cod
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. . . . And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do three minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka, and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
No, I'm allergic to coffee, but do you have any vodka? Melinda
Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen. Sterling Archer
New rule: someone has to explain to me why it's socially acceptable to drink vodka in the morning as long as you pour tomato juice and Worchestershire sauce in it. Bill Maher
You know, vodka is for Russians what therapy is for Americans. Aunt Sarah
Vodka and Coca-Cola. Detente in a glass! Vernon Bayliss
Well [the lemonade] looked a bit sad so I added a dash of vodka to cheer it up. Purdey
Two vodka martinis, extra dry, extra olives, extra... fast. Tony Stark
Sometimes a bottle of vodka isn't just a bottle of vodka - it's a beginning! Emelyan Pugachov
Rum's a sailor's drink. Vodka, a politician's. Demi
Oh, memory impairment. The free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle. Sheldon Cooper
There, an article on aging next to an ad for vodka. Problem... solution. Nina Van Horn
Real Russians have no proverbs. We have vodka and misery. Wait. That was a proverb. Galina "Red" Reznikov
Butterflies making you queasy? What say we drown them with a dip in the Vodka Fountain? Olive Snook
For all the talk of valor and glory, it is only war, religion and vodka that can make good people do terrible things. Luba
You know what they say about vodka, Mrs Slocombe? One's all right, two's the most, three, under the table, four, under the host. Mr. Humphries
When life gives you lemons mix it up with vodka soda David Vogt; Hannes Buescher; Lena Meyer-Landrut; Moritz Tannhoff
Jägerbombs, Jägerbombs / Then some vodka / Drink it down with a frown / The bottles gotcha Justin Hubbard
Did you, did you really think you'd found somebody? Or did that vodka make you leave with me? Andrea Monica Martin; Steven R. Dubin
Oh, I'm on the Drinking Man's Diet, / It came from a book I was loaned. / It's really terrific and quite scientific / And I'm half stoned. / For breakfast some cornflakes and vodka, / But cornflakes have carbohydrates / So I don't eat those fattening cornflakes, / I eat the vodka straight. Allan Sherman
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. F. Scott Fitzgerald
From our black bread and our vodka — asking naught, and undismayed — / From our never-empty cradles! — we are coming to your aid. Henry Lawson
I watched them in a bleary daze of bitterness and pain, / For oh, I missed the cheery blaze of vodka in my brain. Robert William Service
I taste a liquor never brewed, / From tankards scooped in pearl; / Not all the vats upon the Rhine / Yield such an alcohol! Emily Dickinson
The Stoli bottle's frost melts to brilliance where I press my / fingers. Evidence. Proof I'm here, drunk in your lamplit kitchen. Joel Brouwer
humanity requires anesthesia / to hold the pain at bay / my anesthetic is vodka / i embrace it every day Captain B2