Wittiest Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old wittiest quotes, wittiest sayings, and wittiest proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.


Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.     

Margaret Mead

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.     

Earl Wilson

Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.     

Maryon Pearson

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.     

Lily Tomlin

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.     

Harry S Truman