Mark Twain Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Mark Twain quotes, Mark Twain sayings, and Mark Twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain
No man and woman really know what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. Mark Twain
The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes. Mark Twain
It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he maybe knowing it is a planet. Mark Twain
You don't make your character in a crises; you exhibit it. Mark Twain
Man is the only animal who's got the true religion-several of them. Mark Twain
Faith is believing what you know ain't so. Mark Twain
Honor is a harder master than the law. It cannot compromise for less than one hundred cents on a dollar, and its debts are never outlawed. Mark Twain
I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time. Mark Twain
If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go. Mark Twain
I have only one moral precept. Never smoke more than five cigars at a time. Mark Twain
The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? It is the same the angels breathe. Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. Mark Twain
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. Mark Twain
A home without a cat and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly-revered cat may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove its title? Mark Twain
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Mark Twain
Scotch Whiskey...I always take it at night as a preventative of toothache. I have never had a toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it. Mark Twain
Affection and devotion are qualities that are able to adorn and render beautiful a character that is otherwise unattractive, and even repulsive. Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. Mark Twain
It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. Mark Twain
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. Mark Twain
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - and less trouble. Mark Twain
He had a venerable gun, which was long enough to club any game with that came within shooting distance. Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Mark Twain
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy when there is money in it. Mark Twain
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. Mark Twain