Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Mark Twain quotes, Mark Twain sayings, and Mark Twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.Mark Twain
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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.Mark Twain
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No man and woman really know what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.Mark Twain
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The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.Mark Twain
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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he maybe knowing it is a planet.Mark Twain
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You don't make your character in a crises; you exhibit it.Mark Twain
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Man is the only animal who's got the true religion-several of them.Mark Twain
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Faith is believing what you know ain't so.Mark Twain
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Honor is a harder master than the law. It cannot compromise for less than one hundred cents on a dollar, and its debts are never outlawed.Mark Twain
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I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.Mark Twain
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If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.Mark Twain
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I have only one moral precept. Never smoke more than five cigars at a time.Mark Twain
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The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? It is the same the angels breathe.Mark Twain
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.Mark Twain
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The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.Mark Twain
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A home without a cat and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly-revered cat may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove its title?Mark Twain
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It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.Mark Twain
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Scotch Whiskey...I always take it at night as a preventative of toothache. I have never had a toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.Mark Twain
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Affection and devotion are qualities that are able to adorn and render beautiful a character that is otherwise unattractive, and even repulsive.Mark Twain
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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. Mark Twain
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It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain.Mark Twain
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Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.Mark Twain
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To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - and less trouble. Mark Twain
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He had a venerable gun, which was long enough to club any game with that came within shooting distance.Mark Twain
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.Mark Twain
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.Mark Twain
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.Mark Twain
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If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.Mark Twain
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Honesty is the best policy when there is money in it.Mark Twain
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One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.Mark Twain