Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Milton Berle quotes, Milton Berle sayings, and Milton Berle proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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Laughter is an instant vacation.Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.Milton Berle
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.Milton Berle
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I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law a battery-operated mouth.Milton Berle
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On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.Milton Berle
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.Milton Berle
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.Milton Berle
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.Milton Berle
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.Milton Berle
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Marriage is a three-ring circus. First the engagement ring, the the wedding ring, then the suffering.Milton Berle
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It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping. Milton Berle
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.Milton Berle
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day--you declare a truce.Milton Berle
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If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.Milton Berle
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Los Angeles is the home of the three little white lies: 'The Ferrari is paid for,' 'The mortgage is assumable,' and 'It's just a cold sore!Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle
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If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.Milton Berle
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.Milton Berle
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.Milton Berle