Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Henny Youngman quotes, Henny Youngman sayings, and Henny Youngman proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.Henny Youngman
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.Henny Youngman
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What is a home without children? Quiet.Henny Youngman
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.Henny Youngman
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secretHenny Youngman
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.Henny Youngman
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If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.Henny Youngman
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.Henny Youngman
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I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.Henny Youngman
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.Henny Youngman
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.Henny Youngman
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.Henny Youngman
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I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.Henny Youngman
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.Henny Youngman
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While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.Henny Youngman
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.Henny Youngman
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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.Henny Youngman
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A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.Henny Youngman
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.Henny Youngman
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My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!Henny Youngman
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What is a home without children. Quiet.Henny Youngman
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A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.Henny Youngman
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The secret of a happy marriage remains… a secret.Henny Youngman
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If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.Henny Youngman
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I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.Henny Youngman
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.Henny Youngman
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.Henny Youngman
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My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. Henny Youngman
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.Henny Youngman
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better, and she couldn’t have done worse.Henny Youngman